646f9e108c Lucinda Regis, Director of Development at MALCO Oceanic Research, becomes the target of a dangerous killer after unraveling a sinister plot to inject sharks with human DNA. DNA experiments create a shark that can move and breath on land by wiggling its body. It can also growl.<br/><br/>This is a Polonia Brothers plus Camp Motion Pictures production which means it has a camp quality to it by design and shot in the Middle Atlantic states…oh wait! Mark made it out to California for a change up. From the shark we get a "fish eye" lens. Mark expertly edits in stock footage of sharks in with the big fake rubber looking shark, something only taught at the Ed Wood Academy of "B-" Art.<br/><br/>There are basically two people in the film (other than the guy moving the shark). Foster (Peter Baldo) is running the experiment and Lucinda (Sarah French) is his clueless assistant. She is one of my favorite B- actresses. Her stealth darting moves are comical. Not to give too much away, but eventually the pair hunt down the sharks with plastic molded guns that shoot laser bullets as California has different gun laws than Pennsylvania about hunting land sharks.<br/><br/>Please note this has nothing to do with the SNL skits about a "Land Shark." Guide: Infrequent F-word. No sex or nudity. 3 stars for the camp and keeping the rubber mask people in business. I consider this to be a Polonia Brothers classic, for what it's worth. This movie was rough to watch.<br/><br/>*****SPOILERS*****<br/><br/>An (assuming) pharmaceutical company is experimenting on sharks to find cures for cancer and other such maladies. Unfortunately some of the sharks being experimented on develop the ability to leave the ocean and go on land to claim victims and wreak havoc.<br/><br/>The company decides to send it's two scientists who are experimenting on sharks to destroy the land sharks. But, as we find out, there are deeper and darker things afoot.<br/><br/>So Land Shark is a typical Polonia Brothers movie. Take an interesting concept and make it boring with cheap/bad effects and poor acting. Also, add tons of filler material to pad the movie out.<br/><br/>There are a lot of people eaten by the Land Sharks in this movie but, unlike other movies, they are just there to be eaten and not really move the story forward. For example: In Land Shark and Jaws a woman is eaten. In Jaws they find the body later and realize that there may be a killer shark out there. There is a consequence for the dead gal. In Land Shark gal is attacked and we never hear anything about it again. At least not that I noticed. No real impact on the story other than some poor lady got eaten.<br/><br/>Oh, and what a spectacle it is when people are attacked and eaten. The blood looks too transparent and it's apparent that they are using squirt bottles to squirt it on bodies, cars, signs, etc.<br/><br/>The acting is poor so the exposition between attack scenes is a bit…slow and hard to watch. There is a lot of wandering around in the woods with laser weapons and a tracker. This is obviously filler material. Sure, you need shots like this but it happens so much that if you are trying to build tension it's a wasted effort.<br/><br/>I'm amazed at the Land Sharks though. Not because they are anything special but rather that they do have a unique power of changing size. This isn't a good thing. In a lot of the POV shots the camera is clearly below the actors. In other shots the Land Sharks look as large a car or half the size of a house. Apparently continuity wasn't a thing in this flick.<br/><br/>Story wise the the movie is a predictable b-movie affair. You find your self asking "why" more than anything. For example: why did this major corporation just send out it's two scientists to take out the Land Shark rather than bring in some guns for hire.<br/><br/>Also, with the antagonists, there is a bit too much mustache twirling "I'm evil" going on. It hits you right in the face with it.<br/><br/>When the scientists are hunting the sharks they are given exceptionally powerful "laser blasters" but like many other things in this movie their ability changes. I would have loved for their to have been a line somewhere that said, "these laser blasters are powerful and will take down these house size sharks but each gun only has three charges. After that you are out of luck." Instead the guns are either used like a Star Wars gun (pew pew pew pew) non-stop firing. Or, they are not used at all, even when the shark is right next to them.<br/><br/>The ending of the movie was predictable and could be seen coming a mile away.<br/><br/>The thing that I did admire about the movie, and the reason why I gave it two stars, is the model effects and makeup effects. They are not outstanding. As a matter of fact they are quite poor. But, I admire the DIY effort to make these things and composite them in the film in some of these shots. I do appreciate that effort.<br/><br/>All in all though this movie is a bit of a slog to get through. At least for me it was.
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291 weeks ago